Making mistakes
by Tay-P
Summary: "After the incident with the bread, I don't see Katniss for awhile. I fear that she like most others have given into the starvation and the cruel winter. But when I do finally see her, she is full of life; as much as a girl from the seam can be. She has gained weight, her olive skin has caught the spring sun and she is glowing. She is beautiful. She is hope." Peeta/Katniss
1. Chapter 1: prologue

**Making mistakes**

_Prologue_

Growing up in District twelve I knew what it felt like to feel hunger; maybe not as much as the seam kids – that grew gaunt and frail until they fell when the harsh winter blew into our poor little district and into their wooden houses. But I knew what it felt like, the dizzying desperation your body feels when you need sustenance, the unbearable ache and the shaky limbs until your body gets used to that need and then all you are, is skin and bones and death.

I was lucky to be a merchant boy, my family owned the bakery which I helped in. I was never really hungry only sometimes if the winter was very bad. I wasn't skin and bones, I lived easily enough, I was strong and healthy unlike many other boys my age from my District.

Something I did know a lot about was mistakes and pain. I seemed to always have been making mistakes throughout my life. But pain? Well, my mother often inflicted blows upon my face and body in the beginning. That was nothing however compared to the pain I experienced in the games, and of course doesn't even begin to compare to the emotional pain I felt when it came down to Katniss Everdeen. The girl on fire. The Mockingjay.


	2. Chapter 2 : Reaping part one and past

Chapter one : The reaping.

Leading up to the reaping my mother decided to refrain from using my body as a punching bag, it was an unspoken rule for the day of the reaping to look your absolute best, you wore the best clothes that you owned, and you scrubbed the coal that seemed to layer our District from your skin and hair; you scrubbed until your skin was raw and you turned up to the reaping paled and scared and so nervous, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be your name called. At least that's what I felt and thought, but my name was called.

Some of my earliest memories centre on Katniss Everdeen. The way she sung in class at our school, her large coal like eyes, and her pretty hair that she wore in two long braids. She was always brave and ruthless and so innocent, it was all part of her charm.

But when her father died in a mining accident something changed in her, she closed herself off. I often wondered what it must be like, wondering if your father or your brother would be coming home once they finished their long strenuous shift, wondering how you will live off their meagre wages or if dinner will even be on the table.

I don't know how anyone didn't notice the way her clothes hung off her body more than the other kids after the accident or how her younger sister was tiring quicker and eventually stopping going to school. I watched Katniss starve; the once fearless girl was nothing but a husk of who she once was. I was helpless to it, all I could do was watch then go home to a meal that would fill my belly.

I often wonder to myself what would have happened if I helped her sooner, if I took her and her family food. It wasn't until I found her weeks later collapsed against a low tree outside the bakery taking shelter from the down pour of rain, silent slow tears coursing down her cheeks that I decided to act. Walking purposely into the kitchen to the oven I got a fresh heavy loaf of bread and placed it against the open fire watching it scorch the golden brown of the bread, I was careful so the whole thing wasn't ruined while glancing hastily out of the window, making sure she hadn't moved.

"Peeta!" My mother screamed my name as if it were a curse, she slapped at my arm which was holding the loaf and I dropped it quickly to the counter. "You idiot boy, you're burning money! Do you want this family to starve?!" She screamed, her face a bright crimson, spittle flying from her mouth.

She slapped me hard, my face turning on the impact and stormed out of the room muttering angrily to herself. I walked slowly to the back door, my cheek burning and my eyes stinging with unshed tears. I stood in the rain for a long moment and let the cool water calm my face before turning to Katniss and throwing the bread towards her. It landed with a dull thump, cause water to splash from the ground.

That was the first of many mistakes I made when it came to Katniss.


	3. Chapter 3 : Reaping part two and present

Chapter two : Reaping part two and the present.

* * *

While I was waiting for the names to be called at the Reaping, I scanned the crowds of children, because that's what we were, for Katniss and soon found her looking to her left at the boys side, mouthing I didn't know what to Gale Hawthorne. A feeling of dread washed over me, whether seeing Katniss talk to Gale or for the upcoming Reaping, I wasn't sure.

The woman from the capitol wore more colours then I had ever seen in the District and teetered over to the bowls on the highest shoes I had ever seen a woman wear. She called out 'ladies first' in a shrill voice and began a series of unfortunate misfortunes.

"Primrose Everdeen." Time stopped altogether. Katniss' baby sister, her first year being put into the bowl and her name out of everyone's is called. My heart is beating in my eardrums and poor little Prim hesitantly walks toward the stage, tucking her wayward shirt in with trembling small hands.

"Prim? No, no!" Katniss is screaming hysterically and is beating at the peacekeepers that are keeping her away from her sister. "Get off me! No! I volunteer!" My heart stops and dread washes over like a tidal wave leaving me cold and nauseous. "I volunteer as tribute."

President Snow is sat across from me, looking cool and relaxed against the unforgiving metal chair that is matching to mine. He fixes a steady stare onto my face. I am tired, bone tired and hungry. Starved. Thoughts of Katniss are the only thing getting me through this ordeal. Snow mutters one word, the same word as always. 'Again.'

Before I have time to react or brace myself, I am punched. The blow knocks me sideways and I am seeing stars, the chair that I am bound to teeters and I fall to the floor, my temple resounding off of the concrete and the darkness that takes me is a respite.

If I dream, I dream of Katniss but that's a luxury I am not allowed any more. Instead my dreams are nightmares of the games and my fears for the girl on fire. I awake to screaming, her screams – my eyes are wide and alert and I barely register the pain thumping in my head. "Katniss!" I scream anxiously pulling at my restraints but the screams do not stop only falter to sobs then to rising screams of terror. I pull at my shackles until my wrists are raw and slick with blood.

I scream and pull, the pain urging me on. I must find her and save her, no matter what happens to myself; she must live. I search the room for an exit and if it wasn't for a flutter I would have missed it completely in my panic. A Jabberjay.

I scrunch my eyes tightly willing the mutts assault to stop. Just like in the games it wasn't real, couldn't be. The screams get louder, piercing and echoing through my already pained skull until I don't know what's real and what's not . I clench my jaw painfully and grind my teeth as she calls out my name repeatedly. "Stop." I sob out brokenly my bloody wrists dangling limply at my sides.


	4. Chapter 4 : Reaping, past and present

Chapter three : The reaping, past and present

* * *

Everything happens quickly after that, Katniss is bought to the stage while Gale handles Prim and then it is the boys turn. My name is called and I could just laugh because this will be the first time that I will really talk and spend time with Katniss; not just watch her from afar – she will know who I am. Then we will be forced to kill each other. My brothers do not volunteer for me though I didn't expect them to; the silence is still painful and awkward but is luckily interrupted by a peacekeeper roughly pulling me to the stage.

Katniss and I are made to shake hands, and she looks at me with these murky eyes that all the seam kids seem to have but these have seen so much more and are so full of fear. She searches my face for a long moment and then she lets go of my hand and she is closed off once again.

o.o.o.o.

After the incident with the bread, I don't see Katniss for a while. I fear that she like most others have given into the starvation and the cruel winter. But when I do finally see her, she is full of life; as much as a girl from the seam can be. She has gained weight, her olive skin has caught the spring sun and she is glowing. She is beautiful. She is hope.

I see her with Gale after that even though he is at least a year older than us – but already they are close. He is tall and broad; the essence of a district twelve man. Olive skin, dark hair and coal eyes. He is strong from hard work and preparing for the mines. Together they are the perfect match.

My father buys the squirrels that Katniss kills with her bow, a grave talent that could get you killed in twelve; she's good to, she gets them right through the eye. I think it's why my father takes the risk to buy from her.

I often wonder if maybe I had actually handed her that bread, hadn't have burnt it and ruined it, would we have had a friendship? Could I have been what Gale is to her? I doubted it, we were too different. A seam girl and a merchant boy. The odds were never in my favour.

o.o.o.

"Your father is dead." Snow states simply as if he is telling about the weather outside of my cell. He has a raised eyebrow waiting for my response but I don't have the energy. I suspected as much, it kills me though. "Your mother and brothers are too." Tears swim my eyes. I am the only Mellark left, the sorry excuse of the family.

"I'm going to tell you something now Peeta, because I know you don't really belong here, you are a good lad. Extremely good with your words and you know how to work a crowd. I remember the stunt you pulled with Ceaser, about the baby? Excellent." He shakes his head with what I think he thinks is a fond smile but just looks cruel.

"What do you want from me?" I ask my voice grave and rough, it's been awhile since I drank anything or spoke.

"I want you to have another interview with Ceaser, imagine this time you are speaking to your little Katniss. Send her a message. Can you do that? Think of it as righting a wrong for your lost family. They would want you to do the right thing wouldn't they?" Snow pauses before he slowly gets up and nods his head.

A screen flickers to life and she's there in front of me, tired and fragile and so god damn determined. Katniss is standing in debris of our fallen District, her coal eyes are swimming with tears.

"Peeta." The tears fall from my eyes as I hear her utter my name. "You've got to stop protecting the Capitol, President Snow. Can't you see what they have done? Our District is gone. Your family have not been found." The camera focuses over her shoulder at the blackened rubble that I knew were once my families' bakery. The floodgates open and I hunch over myself as sobs erupt from my chest. I barely register the screen darken before her screams echo around my cell; the Jabberyjay has awoken.


	5. Chapter 5 : The interviews

Authors note: Hey guys, so how are you all enjoying my take on the Hunger Games in Peeta's point of view? I'd love reviews to hear what you guys think! Anyway obviously I don't own anything other than this idea for this story!

* * *

Chapter 4 : The interviews.

* * *

The second mistake I make with Katniss is during my first interview with Ceaser Flickerman for the first games. Before the Games but after the Reaping I was searching my brain for ways that I could protect Katniss. I probably wouldn't be able to physically once we were there, Katniss is a skilled hunter and could kill me herself if she wanted to; but it was a known fact that I was popular with the viewers, if I could just get them to see Katniss the way I did – then I knew she would win or at least have a better chance. She would get sponsors.

I kept the idea to myself, but only told our mentor Haymitch that I wanted to be trained separately, I couldn't afford for Katniss to find out. So when it was finally my turn to be interviewed, I joked with Ceaser to break the ice and then told him honestly about my feelings for the girl on fire. Once my mouth opened it was like I couldn't stop. I complimented her on everything that I could and when the buzzer went off signalling the end of my time I felt relieved and almost giddy.

It felt good to get my feelings out in the open, I was nervous about her reaction but wasn't expecting her to feel the same way about me – it was enough for her to just know. Of course I certainly wasn't expecting her hands around my throat pushing me roughly into a table then slamming my back against the wall. Her eyes were shining bright with anger and her face was flushed.

"What the hell was that?! You like me? You made me look weak!" She hissed in my face squeezing tightly. Haymitch pulled her off of me as I gasped for air, my face flushing from embarrassment.

"He made you look desirable." Haymitch stated whilst grabbing her by the shoulders and leading her away, Effie – the woman that called our names and determined our fates, put a reassuring arm around me and led us the opposite away.

That was the biggest mistake I made and which makes me believe it led to our downfall.

o.o.o.

I am lead into a large plain room, lights and cameras are all facing the stage which has got two plain chairs, there is no one in this room besides Ceaser and myself plus a handful of guards all donning guns which are strapped over their bodies. I am pushed roughly to the chair; while Ceaser is talking to Snow who is watching me carefully. The guards roll up my trouser leg roughly, while I am being held down by the other guards, I know the drill and I am too weak to do anything about it. They pull my fake leg off roughly causing me to cry out, a hand appears out of nowhere and slaps me to quieten me. They leave me sat with only one leg and I am once again made to feel like nothing, like an animal.

The lights are turned on and I am blinded by their intensity, and soon Ceaser has come over to join me. Ceaser gives me a long hard stare, gone is the joyful exuberant man that interviewed me for the past games, that gave me sympathy he is replaced by the harden man that is now sat beside me. I think he is bitter over the baby stunt.

A countdown is called from somewhere and before I know it the cameras are focused on us, it's like Ceaser is a light switch and just been turned on, his smile is megawatts and jumps straight into his persona updating the people of Panem of the rebellion, painting his girl on fire as a terrorist. I feel the rage building inside of me but know it will do me no good, I calm my breathing and look up into the cameras and imagine it is Katniss' face that I am looking into. I risk a glance to Ceaser and I am shocked by what I see, my face is being shown from the cameras on a screen off set past Ceaser. I haven't seen my reflection since the Games or probably before. I look awful, I look like a mutt version of myself and suddenly I wish I was never here, because I know Katniss will see this, she saw the first interview with Ceaser I am sure, but that was straight after the games I hadn't been starved nor had I been beaten. I looked somewhat like myself, but now? Now even I could recognise myself.

My hair had grown shaggy and was filthy, my face pale and gaunt. Dark shadows were beneath my eyes which looked half crazed. I looked away from the screen filled with a new anger. Ceaser was looking at me in an exasperated way, and I realised I must have missed what he said.

"I'm sorry, I missed what you said. You see it's been a long while since I saw what I looked like." I spat out bitterly, knowing that I would regret saying it later when blows and blows would be raining on my body.

"Well that's all very well Peeta, but sometimes our appearances aren't the most important thing. The whole of Panem is hanging in the balance of what Katniss Everdeen will do next." Ceaser says seriously and the irony is not lost on me, this man with his sparkling white teeth and emerald green hair.

"Katniss isn't doing anything, she is being used." I said angrily shaking my head, I see Snow looking at me with furrowed brows so I hurry on. "It's obvious, isn't it? Why would she put her little sister in harm's way with a rebellion when all along she has been protecting her, she is being used!"

"Well it's nice to see that you still harbour feelings for the Mockingjay, but you can't really think that Peeta. You're a smart boy, and we think you are the only one who can get through to her." Ceaser continues and I don't know what I'm supposed to say. Katniss is stubborn and she doesn't listen to anyone but herself.

I take a deep breath and take a shot in the dark. "Yes, I have a message for Katniss."


	6. Chapter 6 : Games and mistakes

Chapter 6 : Games and mistakes.

* * *

After the interview with Ceaser, Katniss doesn't speak to me; only once to apologize for the angry blue bruises that are obvious against my pale throat, but she keeps to herself. Haymitch congratulates me, thinking I am playing the games before it has even started and Effie gives me sympathy and small pats on my back. I don't have time to dwell on it; I have to focus on the games and protecting Katniss. I can't imagine a world without Katniss Everdeen.

We are standing on our podiums in a wide circle; the countdown is loud and quick – well quick to me. I see Katniss standing at hers at least five people down from me, we catch eyes and I see her glance to the cornucopia where a shiny bow and arrows are propped. Katniss looks back to me and I shake my head slightly. She knows what has to be done, to get far far away and find water and food. The bell rings loud and clear once and she looks panic stricken, again I can't dwell. If I want to survive I have to get far away from these people, I run as fast as I possibly can and chance a look over my shoulder and see Katniss running the opposite way, toward the bow.

I don't know how I do it, but I survive the first three nights, continuously watching the skies for a picture of Katniss and I am thankful every time that I don't see it. I manage to find water through sheer luck and eat plants, my energy is dwindling though and I know it won't be enough.

I decide to search for Katniss, maybe we could pair up. However I am found first and not by Katniss but by the careers. They have me circled, all with an excited glint in their eyes, holding out their weapons and muttering excitedly.

"Well what do we have here? Hello lover boy." Cato I think is his name calls out; I search for a gap in the group but know I won't make it three steps before a knife is in my back. I notice in Dismay the girl from two, Glimmer has the bow and arrow and wonder how she got it.

"Where's your girl baker boy?" A short girl with dark hair and a malicious smile asks. Clove from One.

"I er I don't know." I say with a shrug. "But believe me I wish I did. Pay back for what she did." I say shoving my head back and showing the now fading bruises. Cato snorts out a laugh.

"A girl did that to you?" He asks whilst laughing and the others join in.

"You all saw her in training, right? You saw her score didn't you?" I ask and they all quieten. "She's not a normal girl."

A small knife goes whizzing past my skull and gets embedded into the tree that is behind me, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and they all laugh once again.

"Good thing neither am I." Clove hisses playing with the other small knives.

"Come on lover boy, maybe you can help us find her." Cato says with a jerk of his chin and they set off with me trailing hesitantly behind them.

That was the first mistake of the Games, I couldn't help but feel the unsettling feeling of betrayal deep in my stomach, but hoped maybe I could steer them away from Katniss and hoped maybe she would understand if I couldn't.


	7. Chapter 6 : interview o and Games

Chapter six : Interview part two and the Games

* * *

The cameras are focused on me as is Ceaser and Snow. I know I have to think quickly, I don't know how much will be aired or if I will be stopped. "Katniss, you've got to bring an end to this. Lives are being lost." I begin seriously as Ceaser nods his head beside me, his fingers are steepled. My head is pounding painfully and I am at a blank.

"Think of your family and yourself." I begin slowly and see Snow raise an eyebrow. This isn't what he wants me to say, I take a deep breath and talk quickly. "They'll do it again. Maybe tomorrow." The look on Snow's face tells me I have guessed correctly, my heart stops as realisation dawns on me and I have to act quickly. "Maybe tonight, they'll do it! The bombs will fall! No one is safe!" I shout urgently before I am knocked from my chair. Everything around me is pure havoc, there are shouts for the filming to stop, guards are beating me with their guns- but I am too far gone. They will drop bombs. Katniss isn't safe. No one is safe.

I feel a crack and blood spurts from my nose and then Snow is there, the once cool and collected President is crimson in the face. "I should have you killed, and sent to the Mockingjay in pieces. That would be a message." He snarls in my face.

o.o.o

The careers and I find Katniss, something had happened to her and she is badly hurt. We followed her from a lake, and the smell of burning wood was disconcerting. She climbed a tree and I felt some relief, she is quick and sure off her feet and quickly manages to get some height. My heart pounded having to watch Cato try and climb that tree and I could have laughed when he fell straight on his back. Next was Glimmer with the bow and arrow and she too missed.

"Just wait her out; she has to come down sometime." I shrug and because it's the only thing that can be done they all agree.

I think of ways I can help her wondering if maybe I could attack them whilst they sleep, but I know I stand no real chance. I am outnumbered and out skilled.

The rest of the day seems to drag by slowly and I am on edge, it isn't until the sky begins to darken that I feel somewhat relaxed. I watch as the others stuff their faces with food, whilst I pick at roots and eat slowly, my eyes trained on Katniss – I don't miss the betrayed look full of contempt when she glances down at me.

It isn't long until the others have begun settling down for the night; their weapons closely at their sides. I fight off sleep as best as I can throughout the night, watching the careers rest peacefully and even Katniss manages a few hours.

I startle awake cursing myself for being weak and sleeping, and see the careers still fast asleep. I train my eyes above me squinting at the morning brightness and see Katniss even higher than before sawing at a branch that held a large dangling hive. Trackerjackers.


	8. Chapter 7 : Torture

Chapter 7: Venom

* * *

After the interview of which I sabotaged; the beatings came continuously, and I was sure that I would be killed. I didn't know how long it had been since the interview, the concept of time had been lost on me. I had been kept in a dirty small cell, with no windows and only one door. It could have been days or weeks I didn't know. But there came a day where a lot of new things happened and none for the good. I had been left for hours, beaten and bloody when I heard screams; not the sounds of Katniss, different. It took me awhile to recognize it. It was Joanna. I looked for the Jabberjay, not fully understanding why they would torture me with her sounds, we weren't particularly close, yes it distressed me hearing anyone screaming in that much pain – but it didn't affect me as much as when I thought it was Katniss.

The screams continued for hours or what seemed like it before I was dragged from my chair by the guards. They hadn't given me my leg back since the interview, and they were unforgiving as they pulled me awkwardly down corridors. I groaned and cried out, feeling my wounds split and bleed.

I was pulled into a room and saw Joanna passed out on a metal slab of a bed, she had wires attached to her body and I could only imagine what they were there for. They strapped me down on a matching bed beside her. I strained my head to look at her; I didn't know how I even recognized the once bitter yet strong and healthy young woman because beside me she was just skin and bones. Her bones were jutting painfully out of her deathly pale skin. I feared that she was dead, because this would be another level of torture. Joanna's body was filled with bruises, old and new wounds, her once long hair had been copped short and uneven. She looked like hell.

The guards soon left and I flexed my arms against the restraints, I was bound tightly. I kept glancing toward Joanna trying to watch for any movement or sign of life. "Stop ogling me, pervert." A mumble came from Joanna's mouth making me jump.

"Oh thank God, Joanna." I sighed, my own voice coming out rough and horse. "What have they done to you?"

"Everything I should have expected." She muttered slowly turning to face me with a wince. I sucked in a breath once I saw her face. "Hey you don't look so great yourself."

"I'm sorry. Are you okay though?" I ask leaning my face against the cool metal and feeling some relief.

"No, they are going to kill me and probably you too at some point Peeta. I heard what you did, the guards were speaking about it. You were always trying to protect her, weren't you?" Joanna asked in a trembling voice.

"I love her." I say simply because it was just that simple and always would be.

"See, that's your biggest mistake Peeta. You can't love anyone, not ever. They can hurt me and then kill me but they can't torture me with anything else. What will they do when they get Katniss?" She asked before turning her head away and closing her eyes. My heart pounded painfully with the thought, where was Katniss? Who would protect her?


	9. Chapter 8: Time and memories

Chapter eight: Time and memories

* * *

They left Joanna and I for a long time after that, again I didn't know how long but it felt good not to be alone anymore. Joanna soon passed out after speaking to me and I found myself constantly worrying about her health and also wondered who else was here and was being tortured like us. To pass the time, I thought up questions I could ask Joanna once she had awoken, it was obvious she knew more about everything that had happened than I did.

I thought of my district, gone and destroyed and wondered where Katniss and the others were living wondered if they had gotten my warning about the bombs. I felt my chest ache and used it to anchor me to the now, I was still alive and I would get out, I would get to Katniss. A thought came to my head and unsettled me, yes I would always try to get to Katniss, but why hadn't Katniss try to come to me? Why did she blame me for trying to protect the Capitol when I was always trying to protect her?

I shook my head; of course she was trying to get to me. Katniss wouldn't just leave me here to die.

o.o.o

The trackerjacker nest rocked precariously on the swooping branch Katniss was sawing at and I felt my heart in my throat. I knew and Katniss knew how dangerous these creatures were. One sting would send you spiraling into hallucinations any more than that would kill you. You couldn't even afford one sting in the Games; you needed to be awake and prepared for anything. I looked at the Careers beside me all still asleep, and thought of what to do. Soon the nest would be spiralling down on top of us, and I couldn't be stung. But if I moved, I chanced waking them. I heard a cry from above me and saw Katniss swatting at herself, my heart thudded to life. She was stung. I would have to act quickly and I didn't have a lot of time, the nest had awoken and was close to falling, the buzz was getting louder and before I knew it, it was falling quickly to us. I got to my feet grabbing a knife and running into the trees and hiding in the thick bushes. I soon heard the crack and then the roar of the buzzing followed by screams. I kept as low as possible, watching as feet ran past me until all was silent.

I stayed for another minute, counting slowly in my head until I left the safe confines of the bushes. I looked around hesitantly and heard a low groan. I rushed to where the nest fell and found the swollen body of glimmer, the bow and arrow gone.

"Katniss!" I hissed out looking everywhere and began walking and listening. I heard the loud fumbling of steps and decided to risk it, I ran toward the sound leaping over fallen branches and finally seeing Katniss, her eyes wide and crazed looking at me but not focused.

"Katniss?" I say walking toward her as she lurched and searched around herself her mouth moving quickly yet silently. It was then that I heard it, loud and quick footsteps heading toward us.

"Katniss! You need to go! Run! Run!" I screamed at her, pushing at her until her eyes refocused somewhat and she began stumbling away. I turned to see Cato, the same unfocused stare in his eyes running toward me, on lurching feet. In his hand he carried his favourite weapon, a jagged long knife.


End file.
